Unasked Questions

This blog space has had an appropriate moment of silence.

As I write this, I am flying to Baltimore, Maryland accompanying my mother who is burying her 44 year old son. My brother, Roy Brock Griffin died unexpectedly of a heart attack on the early morning of his birthday, March 18, 2010. Having had a quintuple bypass surgery at the age of 38, Roy had to manage his health in a way that supported the his heart.

As I grieve the loss of my brother, I wonder if he really managed his health as he should have. But did I ask? I had a final chance last summer to see him, and we hung out at the restaurant where he was a manager: Carlos O’Charlie’s. We had lunch, but I didn’t pay attention to what he ate. Now, I have no regrets, but this does have me pose the question: are WE supporting those around us in having healthy lifestyles?

We’re supporting them, one way or another: either we are giving them permission to eat unhealthy by eating the same thing, or we say nothing, in the name of not being intrusive, or not wanting to be a bother. Or most of the time, we don’t want to be held accountable ourselves. As I work with more of my community in getting on track with their wellbeing, they share with me their family history.

Stroke.

Cancer.

Diabetes.

Heart Disease.

Most everyone has one if not multiple members of their family that has been touched by one or two of these lifestyle diseases. Yet at dinner, no one says “Uncle Joe, how about a smaller plate. We want you around longer!” or “No McDonald’s today son. Daddy’s cholesterol is normal, and I want to keep it there!” These unspoken decisions are not being made, and after the fact is too late to be asking the question.

I personally have been touched by all of the above listed lifestyle deaths. And what I am proud to say is that for most of them, changes in diet and lifestyle were made.

That last one, though…. I wish I had asked more questions.
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